May Showers Bring Say What

You Got Me Shook Up     Shook Down   Shook Out    On Your Love   On Your Love    I Want A Girl With Extensions In Her Hair    Bamboo Earrings   At Least Two Pair    A Fendi Bag And A Bad Attitude    That's All I Need To Get Me In A Good Mood    She Can Walk With A Switch And Talk With Street Slang   I Love It When A Woman Ain't Scared To Do Her Thing   Standing At The Bus Stop Sucking A Lollipop  Once She Gets Pumping It's Hard To Make The Hottie Stop     She Likes To Dance To The Rap Jam    She Is Sweet As Brown Sugar With Candied Yams    Honey Coated Complexion Using Camay    Let's Hear It For The Girl    She Is From Around The Way 

LL Cool J

Mama Said Knock You Out 1990 

There are these elements of caricature in the portrayal of the super hero. Unfortunately , I just haven't felt these elements. Apparently my big toe catches on every nook and cranny and I am a three steps backwards for every step forward. Above was my April. Yup , my happy A$$ took two days off. And did I just lay around on the couch for those two days? Sure , Yeah Right 

CROSSROADS:

My schedule mainly consist of 2 - 4 days a week wrenching , problem solving , and babysitting. Actually, I shouldn't say babysitting as the work trade department is something I truly believe in. All the maintenance stuff and problem solving is straight forward and its simply daily upkeep. Lubrications 

But the WT is a little different than other departments. The program began way back in the nineteen hundreds and I jumped in after graduation from body work around 2007. I performed the standard cleaning , wiping down the fake plants , pulling the light covers to clean out the dead spiders , and vacuuming when necessary for 5 hours a month. In return , a free membership. That is how the WT program works. Easy 

That's right , Work Trade is just that. The WT trade crew cleans the gym for a membership and it is only 5 hours a month. Along about 2016 or so , (Rest In Peace John Parker) and the owners son Cam informed me that John was retiring and they asked me to run the WT Program. At the time , per usual , I had about 4 irons already in the fire and I originally told them no. But of course , I signed on and at that time and we had 14 WT crew members. I happily oversaw the development of progress , scheduled folks when needed , keeping the department up to snuff , and ordered supplies as we saw fit. No Worries

Welcome to COVID Number Nineteen. I lost everyone but two. And ever since C19 , it has been a Sh*t Show Of Excuses. You name it , it has happened. Employees taking advantage of the program but never cleaning until HR & I discover their patterns months later. Useless Employees clocking in but not starting until 20 minutes into their shift and leaving early obviously. New hires that MUST change everything and complain via text messages and then by third month they are a no show. Pain In The A$$ 

But it is those good eggs that keeps me around. It is the problem solving with machinery that keeps me around. It is the 100 year old members that share tales from their past that keeps me around. So 2- 4 days a week works wonders. And below is my latest painting. Yippee  

DRIVING:

Are you ready for this , I took on another job. Yup , 2 - 4 days a week. We have all noticed "bad" drivers or texting drivers or running stop signs or poor parking yahoos. I was on my bike near the end of February and I noticed a DRIVERS TRAINING Car near the library. So I Fallowed 

Tracking down the companies headquarters was rather mundane and I walked on in. I inquired about the processing fees , the extra education , and what certificates were involved in becoming an instructor. Ready for this , not much. Seriously!! Not much at all. And below was from the beginning of Alien night theme during Friday Night Bike Night. Yah0000000ooooooooooo  

It's all hands on , I trained with instructors , sat in the backseat , and observed what it is that the school does. Yes , I am judgmental but I excel at reading people , body language , and the art of building rapport. After decades of practicing a wide verity of modalities of bodywork , yes , I take pride offering empathy towards all. Sympathy when a display of sadness washes over another human. Basically , I am just your average knucklehead with skills. Coaching High School Water Polo laid the foundation for working with high schoolers , meeting them in their model of the world , and helping them to discover were they excel. Then exploit their advantages , strengthens , and all while encouraging them to succeed. Uplifting 101

So I trained with multiple instructors during the month of March and became a part time certified instructor for a driving school here in GJ. Before you stereotype these students just like I did , they are required to have at least 30 hours behind the wheel before enrolling into our program. Most of these students are solid drivers. My role is to fine tune , explain signage , walk them through the laws of school zones , promote safety , and create scenarios in which we navigate daily. You Know , The Unpredictable 

Turns out , I flipping rock. That is tooting my own horn but it is true. Last week , after a drive , the owner meets up with me and shares with me some of the horror stories of the business. The owner goes to explain how he only receives the negative calls and complaints and the no show last minute horse Sh*t. Reminds me of the Work Trade Department. As I am politely listening , they go on to point something out to me. They have already received two calls regarding my style and BOTH callers were raving about me. WHAT

Here is my trick. At the end of every drive , I ask the student to tell me two things that they learned. I then mention this ,"Tell me two things that you will be able to teach your mother , your father , your grandmother , your grandfather , your sibling , or anybody that you practice driving with." So every normal child after every normal day of school responds to their folks with ," nothing." How was school? "FINE" What did you do today? " NOTHING" Now , the students start walking to their house and chatter about me and they immediately test their folks. This drivers training experience offers the byproduct of a running dialog with their folks , guardians , or grandparents. An actual conversation with family members. Who Knew 

ORTHO:

Still in the office in the evenings between 2 - 4 days a week. The same rotation of clients with a sprinkle of a few first timers walking in. I mean , all is well. Without breaking any HIPAA violations , a solid mix of men and women. Have dwindled the athletic clients but the injured folks continue to come and move on as they see fit. Still working with the relationship of replacement parts that humans receive. The Grand Valley is loaded with knee replacements , shoulder repairs , and good old fun hip replacements. Normalcy 

DOGS:

Wanna talk UNREAL. I just landed an incredibly lucrative gig for the entire month of May. I have watched this little girl Emmy Lou a few times already now and here is the big gig. Emmy's humans are jetting off to the UK for the entire month of May. Plus , all the watering duties out back. Its more than just dog walking twice a day. Way More 

We walk together at least twice a day. She eats twice a day. And I still make a big A$$ production out of meal time. Drives this poor girl crazy. You should hear her whine and cry while I pretend to mix with an extra twist or clank the fork on the dish a few extra times just because. Classic 

And I am allowed to eat all the fresh crisp lettuce I want. Radishes , chard , carrots and hopefully strawberries soon. I water , I munch , and I throw the little girl a ball for a quick game of fetch. Oh Baby 

NUMBERS:

April numbers were damn near identical to March , Feb , and January. I logged 27 activities , 29 hours , and 258 miles / 415km on the commuter bike. So I got that going for me while rolling these verdant valleys. But my higher divinatory pronouncement is that I am still unable to comment here on my own damn free blog. The other day , couldn't upload photos to this blog. And today , unable to access the BOLD , Text , Or the underline feature within this wonderfully free blog site. May 1st of 2025 and I am still dealing with elementary issues of blogging. Oh Joy 

Two days later , I was able to upload these photos AND add BOLD to the underlined titles. OK 

Happy Trails ,

Cheers