Sunday, December 16, 2018

Good News

Craig is a big powerful and lovable kinda guy. We met years ago at Crossroads and have always enjoyed each others company. I was on one of my sort of off days and figured I would put in an hour of cleaning and call it "safe" for the day. It wasn't that I was bumming out, just a little behind the eight ball really.

Boy did my perspective ever change. Craig walks over to me and begins telling me how he streamed the Twilight Zone show from home. He went into great detail about songs matching with quotes and he even went on to say that he made his wife listen when she arrived to the homestead after a work day. Here ( ) is the link and its only good for another week.

That conversation immediately shifted my energy flow and started a chest/arms regiment. I was so high on life and Craig's words replayed like a skipping needle. I wasn't in search of validation but Phuc Me did it ever hit home. So my chest work out went very well.

I Still Carry These 

Bench- just bar 3x25 slow and controlled
Peck Deck - 1 set 90 , 1 set 100, 1 set 110 all reps of 10
Incline - 2 sets w/35 dumbbells and 1 set of 10 w/40 pound dumbbells
Flat Bench - FIRST TIME EVER using 50 pound dumbbells - 2 solid sets of 10 and I talked myself into 5 controlled reps for the 3rd set. To my surprise I busted out 8 reps. I know that I could do all 10 if I had a spotter.
Decline Bench - set with 20's, set w/25's, and two sets w/35 pound dumbbells
Finished Chest w/Bar set of 10 for the muscle memory factor, 25 plates, 35 plates, and 45 plates as an up and back down pyramid set.

Arms were a switch between Bi/Tri throughout all the exercises. If I used a rope for pulls downs, slide the mechanism down, rope pull ups. Or 20 pound dumbbell curls and then kick backs with the same. Little bit lighter curl bar for preacher curls and then same weight for skull crushers. And On And On

Then for cardio, I hooked up the bike trailer, rode down to Big Lots, purchased a bag of dog food, a flat of canned cat food, and rode over to Roice-Hurst Humane Society, and placed those items in front of their door. Hopefully they were surprised the next morning.

The Dude & I at Mr Jim & Susan's Wedding
Amber Acres:

Hippy Jim, Me, Amber The Human, & Mr Judd
The Original Amber Acres Crew. Minus the dogs and Susan. Love These Guys!! Amber & Mr Jim hosted the Divided Sky on KAFM and were roommates on Elm Ave. I worked with Amber and she invited me on down to the station. Back in the day, after the 9-midnight time slot, turn off the transmitter and go home.

So as a complete renegade, The Atmospheric Window formed at midnight in 2001, my opening number was Slippin' into Darkness ( War Tune ) covered by Black Uhuru. I am still so fortunate to have these guys in my life and still host a verity of shows on KAFM. I have seen a lot of folks come and go, relationships flourish, resolve, and disappear, & the devastating loss as one passes on. KAFM is no different than any other Non-Profit Organization.
My 40th Birthday at Leadville with Founder Ken Chlouber
Speaking of KAFM. My next show is this Monday December 17th at 4pm and I am beyond stoked about it. I will be falling into the tripendicular time machine and spinning out some 80's New Wave and other desirable remixed tunes. Such As, Umpherys McGee mash up of Frankie Goes To Hollywood > Rob Zombie > Pink Floyd, Missing Persons, Psychedelic Furs, Love and Rockets, & I would never leave out Blondie.

Its would be wonderful if you streamed the show live but I will post a link that is good for two weeks for your listening pleasure. Or if this sounds like a train wreck in the makings, possible my Jazz show on Thursday the 20th at 9am might fit your fancy. I am also looking forward to that show!! LP's, R&B, and absolutely NO CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

This Blog:

The history of this blog. It all started as I approached my 40th milestone and I was grossly out of shape. I was driving trucks and pounding a couple of pots of coffee throughout my shift. You Know, Seated & Consuming. I ballooned out to an incredible 218 pounds of a pathetic gelatinous blob.

Love This Guy 
I began documenting my transition on old fashion paper. My first goal was finishing the Iron Horse Classic a few months before my 40th. Basically, this is a road bike race in which you race the train from Durango to Silverton and then ride the train back down the mountain.

On my actual B-Day, I "competed" in the Silver Rush 50.  I then started training with The Boy Dog for the Lead King 25K the following Fall. That event was the switch from paper journaling to the digital format that it is today.

The Rest Is History And Revealed
The Boy Dog And Christmas: Son of a Witch with a capital B

I haven't ever dreaded the holidays like I am right now. Thanksgiving was a real kick in the teeth and I might not have recovered from that week just yet. The worst part was obviously not having The Boy Dog under the dinner table but being blatantly denied of Fridays Thanksgiving Dinner hurt more than anything. 

Now I realize that this upcoming Holiday Season leaves my without a tradition. Shadow Boy passed away at 13 years old but for the past 10 or so years, warm weather or snow, The Boy Dog & I would walk over to The Dude's while the sun would rise. That walk would bring us over the Colorado River, through the Connected Lakes Park, and up into the Redlands. Loved having him by my side and he loved being outdoors. I appreciated the beauty of Christmas sunrises and hearing The Boy Dog pant. And I mean NOBODY was ever out walking. Just The Boy Dog & I in our happy places. Inseparable 

Our Christmas Mornings were filled with him working over his stocking at The Dudes. My nieces would allow him to smell all of their gifts and I 100% loved everything about Christmas mornings. Damn, now that I think about it, I built a lot of Santa Gifts. One year, I found a Foosball Table on Craigslist. Picked it up and added my own creative flair to it. I used glow-n-the-dark paint and highlight the players jerseys, dots of colored paint around the goal mouth, wrote each of the family members names along the legs of the table, and hung our 5 foot black light above the playing surface.

I Loved Playing Santa. I Loved The Anticipation of Christmas Mornings. I simply loved the fact that I was going to be included and all the joy we all shared together. The innocent laughter that follows and the reminiscing of past events. I loved being part of a family tribe. 

The Dude always whipped up a couple quiches and FRESH oj for mimosas. By about 10am, The Boy Dog & I would start the briquettes for the smoker. I loved the security of spending the day with family. We would leave KAFM on all day and casually catch interesting programs. We would hike, walk, or weather pending outings while the smoker did its thang!! 

And Now??? I ask myself why I should even get out of bed. I miss Shadow Boy like crazy. We have nowhere to walk to. My nieces have their own families now and are building their own traditions. I hinted around last week with my youngest niece and her husband about Christmas Eve but they didn't bite. Thats OK, its my own deal. I was just hurt because they really never extended an invitation for Christmas ether. Sure, I am invited and don't need to be invited but its nice to hear once in awhile.

For starting my own traditions, I have kicked around a few ideas but I know I won't follow through this time around. Maybe I will find some youngsters to read to in the future, maybe I will seek out a food distribution and feed the homeless, or maybe there is a group of misfits that I just have unearthed yet. Like I said, nothing this year but I can't continue this downward spiral every Christmas. 

Well The Tree Said To The Lumberjack," I'm Stumped." 

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Discorvey & Dreams

Ol Hippy Jim used to drive through the Valley on his way up to Telluride to work Blues & Brews. He would crash for the night and The Boy Dog would cuddle up, take over the whole bed, with him every time. So I have been settling in and was unpacking some boxes when I came across a thumb drive. This particular drive was one that I would fill up with adventures of Shadow Boy and radio shows and hand off to Mr Jim for the year.

Hippy Jim During Gears & Beers 2010
Then, for the next year, Mr Jim would send random texts, listening to your Back to the Future show or your Airplane show or your Vegas FUNd Drive show. The year would fly by and Mr Jim would be back for another reload of shows, photos, and Boy Dog time.

I had previously been beyond emotional about my Mac crashing and struggling to have "normal" conversations with folks regarding The Boy Dog. A month ago, if I had found this Thumb Drive, not sure how I would have handled it. 

But today, STOKED!!! Sure, I have tears in my eyes. But I started reliving all these wonderful and amazing times that The Boy Dog shared with me. For 13 years, even when his body was failing, he was faithful. 

I have tromped around the Mesa a couple of times this year so far and it absolutely Phuc-N sucks being alone. I wish I had someone or something to accompany me. Maybe I would be lousy company but I ache for companionship. 

That Tongue - Best Boy Ever

These past two weeks have been stellar gym weeks. Finally started grooving with proper tune selections and have added weight to almost every exercise. For instance, flat bench with dumbbells, two sets with 45 pounds and one set of 10 with 50 pounders. I imagined 5-8 solid and controlled reps but blew my mind with 10 full reps WITH FIFFTY DAMN POUNDS. 

Preacher Curls, 3 sets with 25 pound plates?!?!?!? Plates?? Normally reserved for 45 pounders. Still can't believe that one. Me, curling 50 pounds, unreal. And just to top that day off, one of the oldest Silver Sneakers Members, he walked by me and casually mentioned, "You look much thicker these days." 

Thicker??? That adjective struck me. Thicker??? I can guarantee that NOBODY has ever referred to me as thicker. Too Funny But Pretty Cool

These workouts also compliments the 171 miles on the bike for the week. You know how it is, stuff is swirling around in your mind, the miles drift on by.

Radio Shows: First Of All - Holy Smokes!!!!!! Thank You All So Much For Streaming These Links Of Mine!!! The link is only good for two weeks and during that time there were 72 listens. What does that mean??? I clicked around the site and The Orbit Lounge had 8 listens. Many of the shows posted ZERO. I didn't find a single show with double digits. Sure, I am stoked about 72 streams but KAFM has so many kick A$$ shows. I am looking to promote other programers 

My Last show featured (  )  Rod Serling of the Twilight Zone. Its by far one of my better shows. I focused on complimenting Rod's monologue with song titles. tooting my own horn, Home Run Baby!!! And the phone calls booted my own gratifying needs.

This week on the KAFM schedule

For me & my schedule:
Monday The 17th 4-6:30pm ( A Sprinkle of Reggae, 80's New Wave, & Remix Hip Hop )
Thursday The 20th 9-noon ( Jazz but more of an R&B Lounge Style of a Show w/LP's )

You will be able to stream these shows live or catch the show afterwards for the two weeks like I had previously mentioned. We Have Options

Ortho: Ortho-Bionomy is such a brilliant form of body work. I am able to apply the technique during a massage, on a person standing, with acute injuries, and pre/post surgical procedures. Even when I doubt myself, Ortho still works. 

Ortho even worked on this guy. The Boy Dog was so cute to work with. Like, he would be laying all stretched out after an adventure and I would move his fascia towards ease. He would rebound with a paw kick, a deep breath, or The Boy Dog would simply lift his head and give THAT look. He was my best client for sure

  * JUST FOR ME * NO NEED TO KEEP READING * JUST ME RAMBLING ON * Move Along * Nothing To Read Here * Stay Strong 

Coming across this thumb drive has stirred up so many old engrams of mine. My sleep has been total rat Sh*t. Just going to bed along so blows. I have only been dropping into REM for maybe an hour or so these days. Maybe getting old really does suck. Damn You Calendar

I had a friend over the other night for some serious air hockey time and they brought over not one bottle but two bottles of wine. Had a great time and enjoyed laughing and got pretty lit up. Started that winding down process and started falling asleep. Went through the routine of brushing teeth, PJ's, etc and as I laid my head on the pillow, WIDE PHUC-N AWAKE. 

Overall, I am doing ok compared to last month but I am not looking forward to next week and not at all Christmasy. Last years Christmas Day was something special and that evening was something that I will never forget. Charle D's 

Having said that, I picked up my Grand Nephew a killer race car set and will play Santa on the 24th. I scored a doll house style thing from the Salvation that I started decorating to my own likings for his little sister. She is only 5 months at this point so I don't think that she will even notice. 

I guess that I can deal with, handle, or put up with the lack of sleep but waking up from these dreams have gotta go. Those bulls*t dreams. The Boy Dog stuck in a car and my legs are wading through the mud and I can't get there. The Boy Dog next to me on the bed and in a sleepy state I reach for him and wake myself up in real time. If this is all a process of grieving, WHEN IN THE PHUC DOES IT END?? 

The Boy Dog has been on my mind like crazy these days and I have been reminiscing about his ways, his looks, and how he was my best friend and loyal to the end. The Very End

Monday, December 3, 2018

November Numbers & Upcoming Shows

NOVEMBER BY THE NUMBERS: Its been an interesting month to say the least. November was one of those months were the ups were dynamite and the lows flat out sucked. So here is a surprising about of even numbers

Hours     -  28
Miles      - 388
PR's         -  2
Activities - 24

No Running/Hiking Miles And I Am OK With That. The calendar charted 9 total days off so I will say that I enjoyed a good rest period.

Having Said That, Will Be Snowshoeing Tuesday Morning. Looking Forward To Embracing The Grand Mesa. Wish I Didn't Have To Hike Alone


The body has been feeling great!! Like Full ROM Gr8!! Been hitting the gym between clients and looking to pull my tracking card out this week. Its about that time to check in and give a little push.

I have been mixing up exercise and muscle groups lately. Example - Not the usual Shoulder/Tri but Shoulders/Bi and now a new favorite just might be Legs/Chest to burn the cardio action.


Having some really good success with the Silver Sneakers crowd. Most of those appointments are replacement part session. I like working with metal, like a gardner relishes fresh compost, allowing the bone marrow to marry with the new foreign material is pretty exciting.

Our bodies sure are brilliant. Another older lady scheduled an appointment for her neck issues. We began the session with her hands. Those poor arthritic fingers. While releasing her hand, wrist, and holding her elbow, her shoulders did a dance move and her neck rolled on up the table. Wish I had a photo of her face. By working with her arm, her neck released. That Face

Worked with a little guy thats been suffering from migraine headaches. Damn That Sucks!! To be that young and have to endure those inconveniences. Started with his little toes as more of reflexology than anything. Shifted to his neck for some movement and then worked through his Coronal Suture. This gives the Frontal Bone and Parietal Bone a chance to communicate through proprioception. I finished off with holding his Occipital Ridge while I answered moms questions.


Sure didn't think that this was going to happen any time soon but it did. Coach sent me an e-mail with a bunch of subbing opportunities. December can be a tough time when it comes to volunteers, holiday travels, and flu like symptoms. It Happens

So As It Stands For Now
Monday Dec 10th 6-9am ( that was the Mork & Mindy time slot - thinking of another TV show )
Monday Dec 17th 4-6:30pm ( this will be a show NOT to be missed, Prime Time )
Thursday Dec 20th 9-noon ( Epic! Its a Jazz show and I am beyond stoked to host my style of Jazz )

Here ( KAFM ) is the website for streaming live or all archive shows UP TO TWO WEEKS

1) Add Weight To Routines
2) Be Present And Thoughtful
3) Speak My Truth
4) Dance Like Nobody Is Watching
5) Clear The 5,555 Mile Mark For The Year
6) Buck Up & Make Some X-Mas Gifts For Family Members
7) Figure Out My New Years Game Plan
8) Keep The Wind In My Sails

P.S. I Seriously Thank All 47 ( as of today ) Listeners of the Mork & Mindy Radio Show. This show was live on November 26th. The December 3rd show should be up but wasn't mine obviously.
Last Week To Stream The Show - Again, Many Thanx

Monday, November 26, 2018

Survived Turkey Day & Last Cyclocross Race of the Season

This photo recoiled my neck and rattled my noodle. I just happened to have recorded my 500th activity and that lead me into investigation mode. For ALL of the calendar year 2017 - 295 Hours - 3,067.2 Miles - 39 Personal Records - 439 Activities

Thanksgiving turned out to be a much bigger surprised than I expected, or at least thought that the day might flow. I definitely rode a roller coaster!! But it was the way it was. I was lucky enough to start the morning off completely alone. I was originally nervous about being alone but I worked on tasks at hand and made the best of it.

And Yes, Edible Flowers In That Salad 
I wasn't expecting The Dude to walk in before the 3pm hour. Again, another surprise that holiday gatherings offer, The Dude walked in just after the noon hour. SCORE!! He was thinking about cracking a brew and I had been pounding H2o all morning. So Game On. Cranked up a VERY random CD selection while we prepared a variety of dishes.

About that time is when I was FINALLY able to shed my old skin and allow old engrams to release into that space. Some might refer to that space as the Universe. I'm Cool With That

Now imagine if you will, think back to when you were about 8 years old, sleepover with friends, now I can continue. My Uncles morphed the word booger into a Movie game that became infectious. Hope you catch it!! We started replacing ONE word in movie titles and our bellies hurt for days because of the laughter. Have You Thought of ONE???? Comment Below, Don't Be Shy!!

Fist Full Of Boogers, A Booger Named Desire, Bridget Jone's Booger, My Cousin Booger, Attack of the 50 Foot Booger, Black Booger Down, Gone With The Booger, And MY PERSONALLY added and favorite, Willy Wonka And The Booger Factory. This went on randomly like those CD's playing all night. Stupid humor BUT outrageously funny. Seriously, go ahead a comment below with your rendition. Play it forwards OR backwards. Example - Booger Night Fever or Saturday Night Booger

I am telling you, I had no idea how depressed, sad, and worried I was about this day. Also, my feelings had just been totally crushed and pissed out the window on me. But having Uncles to celebrate our youth with?!?!?!? WoW, Laughing Is Amazing!! Giggling like school kids again was righteous.

My spirits were lifted and my heart felt a happy little beat again. Of course the booger game didn't stop there. It rolled into book tiles and eventually made its way into song titles. Come On Now, Comment With A Movie, Book, Or Song. Example - Dan Millman's A Peaceful Booger or The Beatles, I Want To Hold Your Booger. I'm still cracking up!!! Being Dumb Is So Damn Fun At Times

And Now, another cyclocross season is in the books. How ya like THAT turkey there in the soccer field?? Definitely my favorite venue.

Plenty of options, places to dismount, and super fast straight aways for burning up that cardiovascular system. The Grand Valley saw rain, snow, & wind. It was a true cyclocross weekend!!

RADIO SHOW: Here is a big update. I hosted my first show without The Boy Dog coaching me through a good nap or with a revolving door of volunteers handing out butt rubs. He absolutely love walking to the station.

I had previously been in the station and thought that I would be able to keep it together. I rode the bike on down to the station by about 5am and I am glad I went early. Within about 5 minutes of being in the broad casting booth, I cried like a baby. Not having The Boy Dog felt so awful and empty. I miss that guy so much. But it was way too late to call in sick so I pushed some Wide Spread Panic over the airwaves until The Motet felt alright.

I then "started" the show at 6am and stayed focus. is the link that will be good for the next two weeks ONLY. Its a free link!!!

I featured the late 1970's TV show Mork & Mindy. It was mostly a B-Side Classic Rock show with Mork soundbites mixed in. A well received show. Sh*t ton of phone call ins. A number of texts that stated the obvious, Welcome Back. I passed on talking about The Boy Dog over air and simply focused on remaining present and upbeat. But damn I was pleased hearing from listeners. Considering Mork & Mindy "took place" in Boulder Colorado, all the calls were folks reminiscing and story telling of Robin Williams. Way Cool

I have listened to the show and you can clear hear my voice start to crack a few times but I held it together. I drank a lot of water and took deep breaths when those emotions started creeping on into my mind. And for some weird reason, as I put on my helmet, about to leave the building, my guts knotted up with emotions that I was suppressing all morning.

A majority of my ride was rough and watering eyes makes a ride just a wheeeee bit treacherous.
So Overall, I enjoyed the show but not looking to pick up another show anytime soon.

Hope you leave a booger comment, hope you stream the radio show, & stay hydrated,

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

I am so fortunate to be able to call Colorado home, having an iPhone in my pocket for opportune times, & knowing that I have my health, functioning body parts, & the ability to ride my bike when and where I want. So Fortunate

Seriously??? That Brook Trout is Eating AND Pooping a garden snake. Unreal 
The Western Slope Anglers held a meeting at KAFM and I volunteered to bartend. So glad that I did because the guest speaker was brilliant. He has been guiding for over 30 years and his stories were backed up with amazing photos. I am not a fisherman but he painted moments with his words that had me believing that I too could land rainbows effortlessly. Very Talented & Seasoned Gentleman

This could arguably be argued!!! After approximately 4,000 miles on this commuter in the calendar year of 2018, an overhaul took place. Couldn't be happier about it. Fast Eddie went over the top during this "basic" tune up. He replaced the bearings in both hubs before packing them in new grease, hooked me up with a new pair of pedals, took all the cables out of their housing for new spray lubricant, tightened the headset, adjusted the brake pads, and made it clear to me that I need to bring the bike back in after Turkey Day for a once over as a precautionary check. Will Be Sending Fast Eddie Business 

I happened to be gabbing on the phone and a flock of blue birds infested my juniper tree. Their wings were so beautiful and the "jumped" around this tree like little children engaged in London Bridge Falling play school antics. I Found Myself Smiling

This Needs NO Explanation!! Right??? My only two Uncles on my mothers side of the "family" rode out on Amtrak and are here for Thanksgiving. The Dude & I took them out to Palisade for some Disc Golf and then hit Carlson Vineyard for a quick stop. This particular vineyard does an excellent job of decorating their showroom for the holidays. Top Shelf Day All Around

 *This Section Is Just For Me * Carry On With Your Day * Nothing To See Here*

I am not sure how I am going to make it through these damn Holidays without this guy and our routines. Over his 13 years, Shadow Boy walked into my life the week of Thanksgiving at 3 months old, from then on, we played in various locations while a bird was on the smoker. He truly enjoyed the gathering every year!! I know this because he was such a rambunctious puppy but would lay quietly under the dinner table while we all ate and took turns "dropping" scraps in his general vicinity.

Him & I would round up all the oldies and we would walk the neighborhood after dinner and check out all the new Christmas decorations. He was so proud to pack up with humans and found that extra pep in his step. Its just about the only time that he wouldn't pull on his leash, just trotted along beside us while everyone would drop comments like " such a good boy" or " he is so handsome" or " so well behaved unlike my mutt"

Thanksgiving 2016 

There is an outside chance that Mother Nature might drop some snow flakes Thursday. I couldn't believe my eyes or wanted to believe my eyes when I saw the forecast. The Boy Dog obviously loved the snow because I love snow storms. Its a real pisser to think that he won't be here Thursday AND its going to snow. Maybe I will find my Big Boy Pants & Persevere. Well, I guess I wasn't really given a choice because family members are in town and are counting on me to deliver.

These photos are from my old iPhone4 and I never thought that I would cherish them they way that I do. In this photo, I was wrapping The Dudes X-Mas Gift last year, The Boy Dog clearly protested this behavior and expected more attention. Its just one of his many ways of showing me who was The Boss Apple Sauce. I Miss Him So Fucking Much

Thursday, November 15, 2018

September Came And Went, October Hurt, & Turkey Day Is Closing In

Capped of the month of September with a sweet ride on some gorgeous single track outside of the postcard perfect Moab Utah.

The more popular area in Moab for mountain biking is Slick Rock. I had no idea about the Klondike Trail System north of the airport. Talk about radicle and super fast. The Dino-Flow is a MUST!! And its an excellent play on words. Dino = Dinosurs and Flow = Flowing Along With A Big Ol Smile.

Klishy mentioned that we should ride these trails and we knew we only had about an two hours of good light. We checked out the map and came up with a plan. Klishy is a gifted athlete so even though I say we rode the trials together, we never rode together. He always has to wait for me at different intersections or when he knows that I am way behind. Its why I appreciate riding "with" him.

The signage is absolutely brilliant and we could clearly see that a lot of time and effort has been spent on this network of trails. No way could you ever become lost, milage for every section, and tons of options for the locals who ride these trails everyday. And it was the little things that made the difference. Such As, they defined the single track with rocks going into turns and/or straightway through drainage areas.

Moab even painted a BoB Ross Sunset for us. There is something to be said about sunsets in the desert. 

Now for the dismal numbers from September. I am trying to keep in mind that I took 5 full days off during the month. I let Shadow Boy go on the first day of Fall. August also produced some excellent destracting numbers and I knew that I mentally would not be able to complete with those numbers this month.

So after 50 hours for August, looks like 30's are the constant or consistency of Septmeber. No running miles recorded and I am totally OK with that. The Boy Dog was sleeping about 18 hours a day I didn't want him to smell me after a trail run when he wasn't up for it. Thats So Not Fair.

Totals for the month are as follows
30 Days in the Month
37 Hours on the bike
31 Activities 
30 Personal Records
451 Miles

Its occured to me that I will need to investigate Strava a weeeeee bit more. I say this because I will be uploading commuter miles, road bike miles, and mountain bike miles in 2019. Or if any of you have some insight that you would be willing to share with me, comment below. Thanx in Advance!!

Thanx For Checking In And I Was Extremely Touched By All Of The Comments And Condolences From You Fine Folks.  You Can Stop Reading At This Point Because Everything Below Is Just For Me.

When Sadie Girl passed away, I was sad for awhile but I had The Boy Dog to comfort me and keep me moving forward. When I put Ol Gramps down, it was totally his time, I had The Boy Dog to comfort me and keep me moving forward.

I Planted This Memorial Tree In Honor Of Shadow Boy

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday and The Boy Dog always scored an outfit. He loved dressing up and roaming through neighborhoods with me. He loved the little kids and was always so damn gentle with kids in costumes. Remember, he was just shy of 100 pounds those last few years.

Night Time Cyclocross Race Outfit 

But this Halloween was one of the emptiest nights of my life. I was nearly holding myself together earlier at the gym and a segment of the news popped up with 'keeping your pets safe' and that was the final straw. I just couldn't keep from crying all day long. It Phuc-N Sucked

L to R - The Dude, Baby Daddy, H Bird, & Me 

My Niece wanted to host a Robot Halloween and then we would Trick-or-Treat from there. I knew I had to rally but I was not enthusiastic what so ever. Not saying that I was a party pooper but I just didn't have the extra gear of motivation.

Baby Daddy looked GREAT and Iris was dressed as a power pack. CLASSIC !! H Bird hand panted they three outfits and The Dude made his glow-n-the-Dark. We definitely scored on the neighborhood as it was a series of cud-de-sacs. Tons of kids and the ENTIRE neighborhood participated and decked out their homes. VERY IMPRESSIVE

Amazing Decorations These Days

Overall, it WAS nice being around family. But not having Shadow Boy by my side makes me even tear up right now. I miss him like you wouldn't believe. The other day while I was making dinner, I am a sloppy cook, a carrot flipped off the cutting board and I called out for him without even thinking about it. He loved ground scores. Once Again, I Cried Myself To Sleep That Night

Starva sent me a lovely October update. That whole colorful updated e-mail pointed out that I was 542 miles lower than September, 114,00 less vertical gain, 191 miles less running, and only recorded 2 PR's in October. So I Got That Going For Me

Cyclocross Race in New Castle Colorado

I still ride to the office, still lifting weights between 3 and 6 days a week, & still struggling with daily routines without The Boy Dog. Then, just when I didn't think that it could get any worse, my old 2011 MacBook Pro died and I lost all videos and photos of Shadow. Lost ALL My Data, I can deal with losing my music, but losing all of those Boy Dog memories was the icing on the Phuc-N cake. For the month of October, I asked myself this a lot, " What's The Point"
I am not suicidal but I haven't been this unhappy in all of my life. I completely dropped off CrackBook, I haven't created any Youtube content, & this is my first blog update. The craziest part of that is the fact that nobody really even noticed. Nobody, I Mean NoBODY has reached out and asked where I have been.
Thats not a poor me or a dig on anyone. Its just an observation of mine and justifies why its pretty damn easy to pass on social media. If you are not traveling, setting records, or posting cute puppy shots, again, who cares??
Regardless, I am going to use this particular platform as my personal journal. I have races coming up in 2019, I also have travel plans in 2019, & I am finally looking forward to spending New years Eve with The String Cheese Incident.
I have a lot to be thankful for.
I know that I am loved.
I know that this is all part of the process.
I know things happen for a reason.
I am suppose to be getting stronger but its the fact that plans aren't as exciting without The Boy Dog

I thank all of you for stopping by and I really appreciate all of you other bloggers. You have continued to inspire me even though you have no idea that you are doing so.


Monday, September 24, 2018

First Weekend Of The Fall

I was working up in Rifle this past weekend and I received a call on Friday that Shadow Boy wouldn't come in. He was laying comfortably in his own backyard. I wasn't too concerned because he would often project this behavior.

He passed on eating for 8 full days back at the beginning of September. Again, I wasn't really worried that he didn't want any food on that Friday afternoon. I checked back in as I laying in my hotel room and he was still out back. It was easy for me to chalk this up as simply being lazy.

I obviously didn't sleep worth a SH*T and was up and waiting for the call of duty. Our crew departed the hotel by 5:30am and my mind was focused on the task at hand. Somewhere around sunrise my phone rang again with an update.

I was informed that my Vet wanted to see The Boy Dog and my mind raced out of control. The Dude came over to the house and he said that The Boy Dog was standing in the breeze way and he gave one quick wag of his trail when he recognized him.

The Dude called me from the Vet's and I asked him if Shadow was limp when he carried him to the car or was he kind of alert. The Dude told me that Shadow was comfortable but weak in the car. He explained that the Vet could see that The Boy Dog was dehydrated so an IV was set and Shadow received an O2 mask.

My co-work Doc and I raced back to GJ as fast as we could and to the Vet's we went. I walked into the office and the gal's face behind the deck said it all. I went to the back room where Shadow was on the table covered in a blanket. We locked eyes!! Shadow was waiting for me. That Boy Dog held on and waited for his human. Unbelievably Loyal At All Times!! Under Any Phuc-N Condition.

I immediately put my hands below his ears and my forehead to his and asked," What do you want me to do Boy?" Slowly everyone left the room and the Vet gave me my options. The Vet offered me an IV bag with antibiotics and a syringe in case he became uncomfortable. The Vet said that he would follow me and we could lay him to rest in the backyard. The Vet also said he would come over on Sunday as well if needed.

Shadow Boy & I originally thought that this would be a good idea but then The Boy Dog dropped a paw off the side table and eventually hung the full weight of his head off the table in my hands. Thats when I knew that we wouldn't be leaving together.

I made the choice and TheVet unhooked his IV from his port. I began talking to Shadow through his skull between his ears and the fluid of orange death was administered. The Boy Dog began his new journey so quickly and peacefully.

So Cheers To The Chinese Year Of The Dog!!
Old Gramps Passed Away Earlier This Year And I Let Shadow Boy Go On The First Day Of Fall.

2005 - 2018 Best Boy Ever