Surfing Those Waves of Chaos

Just happened to have looked up a new subscriber's data in the "Strava World" and notice my own 2018 numbers. Strava conveniently offers a column with comparisons, So Let Me Toot My Own Horn Here

286 ----------- Rides
90,574ft  ---- Elevation Gained
3,074 -------- Miles

and

514 miles as of August 1st

And

18.8 miles running on the Blissful Mill after posting a goose egg in July

AND

**** You Might Wanna Stop Reading From Here On Down ****

***** This Is Just For My Records *****

Still Have My Fingers Crossed That I Will Be On Air This Sunday. Hosting A Show With Sound Bites From The Big Bang Theory And Righteous B-Side Classics. We Shall See

This will be the first timed that I have opened up on any kind of Social Media. There are my close friends that I have been regularly updating and I told a few friends just this Summer. And I only really shared with those folks because they could tell that I wasn't my positive upbeat self. Even still, I have told people that I just didn't sleep well or some other excuse as a way of deflecting.

I hope this approach doesn't make me a dickhead for not sharing but thats just the way that I have chosen to allow it all to play out. Other times, its too Phuc-N painful to discuss.

This past winter was rather difficult as Old Grandpa Smokey shuffled off into happy puppy land. During that time, rough times, I noticed that The Boy Dog was frequently constipated during our morning walks.

I would quickly chalk up this behavior as his processing of Ol Gramps, even though I knew better. His appetite was excellent and he was always ready to boogie off in the car. A few weeks after the passing of Grandpa Smokey nothing had improved.

The Vet explained how male dogs have been testing positive for Prostate Cancer and I just figured that would be The Boy Dog's case. I will never forget the look on the Vet's face as he described to me what he could feel. His prostate was just fine but there is a tumor inside the Boy Dog's pelvis that is basically collapsing his colon. That damn mass is attached to his spine.

They gave the option for exploratory surgery over in Colorado Springs and then cycles of chemo. This choice was obviously ruled out within about 2 seconds. At 12 years old, cutting through his abdomen, removing lymph nodes, chemo, and all for an extra 9 months of life?? Quality of Life??

Well, Shadow Boy is now 13 years old this month. He really started slowing down near the end of July and turned up with a Heart Murmur as well. Medication is helping that but earlier this week he started showing me signs that he is impacted again by barfing up his dinner. The rotor rooter trick hasn't helped this time around. Meaning, he hasn't dropped a duce in over three days.

This means that his breakfast bell doesn't go off anymore, his hips are quite loose, the rear legs fail every now and then, he only walks about 10 driveways now before those droopy eyes tell the story, and earlier this week he stumbled off the curb. I sort of caught him we his leash the way it is attach to his backpack but still. He didn't care but I sure broke down during the rest of our walk.

I know if I could just flush out his innards, he has strength in his eyes, he would bounce back for a few more months, and I know he really wants to.He lights up every time I walk in or when we wake up together in the morning.

He has been aging these past few months and the atrophy in his muscles clearly worried me. But he was enjoying his Summer and every recommendation that I received, we tried. I so believed that they were all beneficial this past June/July. Well, I was just fooling myself and doing my best to convince myself that the tumor was shrinking in size.

Been making him comfortable his whole life and I'm not stopping now.

Please Do Not Take It Personally If I Do Not Respond Right Away To Your Comments Like I Normally Do. Thank You. Thank You In Advance.